i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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