Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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