Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
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Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
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Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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