I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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