Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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