I can't watch pbs sober anymore
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
