your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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