is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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