nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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