if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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