i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
