Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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