Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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