She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
