It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Randomize
