so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
