Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
