:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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