We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Randomize
