My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
