when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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