ya dads aren't the best wingmen
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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