I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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