babies were throwing up all over the place
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
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