so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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