It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
