I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
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there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
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Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
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