how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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