Please, let me fuck your mom
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize