omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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