ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
