I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
