the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I could fuck to npr.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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