There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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