I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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