We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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