So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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