We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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