My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
