In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
