Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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