i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
