You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
My feet surprised me
Randomize
