i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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