I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
