Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
