OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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