Already got asked if we're dating
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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