In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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