I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
