You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Randomize
