you turned your livingroom into a bong?
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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