Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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