The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize