i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
