I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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