she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
