The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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