I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
