Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize
