I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize