Fine. I'll sleep in my office
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
