i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
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