grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
