She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
