I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wish i was in the wii world.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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