you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Randomize
