Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Randomize