I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
