Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize