i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
