I never want to see another naked old woman again.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
